WWW.GADIS BUGIL .U.S No.1

A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce.
She answered, “Your Honor, he knew I’m a vegetarian and yet he still insists on
putting his meat in my mouth.”

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Woman: “Doc, an ant entered my
vaginal, can you please take it out”.

Doctor removes her panties and start making love.
Woman: “What are you doing?”

Doctor: “This is the only way to drown the
bastard!”

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Q: What is the closest thing similar to a
woman’s period?
Answer: Your SALARY. It comes once a month last 3 - 4 days
& if it doesn’t come you are in deep trouble!

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A lady visited her doctor again, Dr. said: U
look more sick & exhausted than before. Are u having 3
meals a day as I advised?
Lady: WHAT? I thought U said 3 MALES a day!!!!

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Women asked God to make The Penis Pretty.
GOD Said “No way; Now As It Is, The Penis is so ugly
& U still Suck It. If I make it Pretty You’ll Eat It
up!!
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A nun went 4 a urine test. The sample got
mixed up. When the doctor told her she was
pregnant.

She cried n said, “Shit, we can’t even
trust cucumber anymore.!”

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A boy pulls down his pants in front of a
girl & asked ” Do U have this? ”
The girl lifted up her skirt & said, ” My mom said
with this I can have a lot of THAT!”

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Schoolgirl: “I do not want to take the
SEX EDUCATION”.
Class Teacher: ” Why not?”

Schoolgirl: “Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be
ORAL!”
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Mother asks daughter, how is married life?
Daughter shyly says like BRITISH AIRWAYS.

Mother reads the advertisement & is shocked. It says
” 7 DAYS A WEEK,TWICE A DAY, BOTH WAYS!

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What is the STRONGEST muscle?

TONGUE - It can raise a woman’s hip with just
one lick!.
The lightest
muscle?

PENIS! It can be raised by a woman’s tongue!

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Lady Immigration officer asked a
Korean tourist: Name? Park Yu.
The 0fficer become angry & shouted back: FUCK YOU! Now
what’s your full name?

Korean replied: PARK YU TOO!!
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Man to wife: Business is bad, if u learn how
to cook we can remove servant.

Wife: ASSHOLE! If u learn how to fuck, we can remove
driver, gardener & watchman..
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COCK say to his two BALLS: I am going to
take you with me to a party.

BALLS said: You big fucking liar. You always get INSIDE and
leave us waiting OUTSIDE!
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A baby dog asked mama dog how papa look
like?

Mama dog reply: How I know. Your papa came from behind
& I didn’t have chance to see his face” !

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What’s the difference between stress,
tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend
is pregnant,
PANIC is when both are pregnant!

Beer ~vs~ Pussy
A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.
A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
Advantage: Draw.

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy.

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad.
If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Draw

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football
game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a
breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.

Pussy can make you see God.
Beer can make you see the porcelain God.
Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are
normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.

If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Draw

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you
are.
Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you
back.
Advantage: beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.

The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Draw

Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, Killian’s Red
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage: Pussy.

The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

It’s a close call, but the numbers never lie.
Advantage: Pussy.

A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks,
‘How many people here believe in ghosts?’

About 90 students raise their hands.

Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?’

About 40 students raise their hands.

That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?’

About 15 students raise their hand.

Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?’

Three students raise their hands.

That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?’

Way in the back, Abud raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses and says ‘Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.’

The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, ‘So, Abud, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?’

Abud replied, “Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats.”